Coming Home Soldier
by SherwoodShippers
Summary: Frank returns home after the Blackhawk crash a little worse for wear on the inside and the outside. Follow the Sherwoods to those private places we never see. Takes place between the homecoming and Jeremy's revelation in "Who We Are"


**A/N: Any portion that you recognize comes from the episode "Who We Are." The writing around that bedroom scene is to fill in the blanks of what may have occurred between our favorite couple.**

They collected his bags and drove home from the flight line. Seeing the garden and sea of good wishes gave Frank some perspective on what his wife had gone through while he was missing. She seemed defensive about it, ashamed that she'd been so afraid. He'd fix that later. Now, he just wanted to get inside and away from prying eyes, even those belonging to their son.

Denise knew there was a lot more going on behind his eyes than he'd let on, even to her. She could tell by the way he was moving and touching her that he'd been hurt, she just didn't know how badly.

Finally they got inside and Jeremy left to hang out with his friends. "I'm glad to have you home," she said smiling at him.

All he gave her was a nod of his head. This was not like her husband at all, the exhaustion was etched in his eyes and when he spoke she could detect the hint of tears, he just couldn't get it out yet, but she could barely hold hers back.

"Talk to me Frank, I know you're a lot worse off than you are letting on," she said.

"I'm just tired, Sweetheart," he told her. "Little sore, it's nothing. I've been so worried about you."

"Me? Why?" she asked.

"This whole time I've just, you seemed so distant, and quiet," he replied. "You okay? What happened while I was gone?"

"Nothing," she said.

He pulled her close, still in uniform, and held her, that's the only he wanted to do for the rest of his life was hold her like this.

She held on to him tight, "I was so scared Frank," she said choking up.

He rocked a little, "So was I, baby," he admitted. "Never thought I'd see your face or hear your voice again, but I did. Every time I closed my eyes I did."

She smiled. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," he sighed. "I need a shower; I must smell like jet fuel."

She nodded. "Okay, you want something to eat after you finish?"

He shook his head, "No, I'm not hungry."

"Okay." She'd let it go for now.

While Frank was showering she turned down the bed, that was his routine, shower, nap, eat, the nap some more before making love through the night. He was in the shower a long time though and she worried.

She walked into the bathroom. "Frank, you okay honey?" she asked.

"Fine," he replied. He was having a hard time moving around the bruises on the skin were the tip of the iceberg and she hadn't seen them yet. "Warm water just feels nice; I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay," She left the bath room and went to the bed room to change.

He was out a few minutes later; he didn't expect her to be there. He hadn't tried to hide the bruises.

She gasped when she saw them. "Frank, those…" She couldn't even finish her sentence.

"I know, it's nothing compared to what the other guys got," Frank said. "It's okay, it doesn't hurt that much."

"Are you sure?" she asked

"Yeah," he nodded. "That bed looks pretty comfortable though. Do you mind?" He could barely keep his eyes open.

"No, not at all, let's nap then you need to eat something." He always turned down the first offer, but not the second.

He shook his head, "No," he said shaking his head.

"What?"she asked

"Nothing," he shook his head. "Nothing, it's okay. I'm okay."

"No you're not Frank, I can see it in your eyes, you're not okay." She was terribly worried now.

"I'm tired, honey," Frank said. "I didn't get much sleep since everything happened."

"I know, me either," she said hoping he'd invite her to be with him.

"Lie down with me?" he asked. "Maybe it'll help us both sleep."

"Yeah." She laid down next to him and curled into his side.

He wrapped his arms around her, "There is where you belong, you know," he told her. "Right here."

"I know," She snuggled deeper into his arms. "I missed this, you know?"

He flinched in pain but smiled, "I know. I miss this too. It's peaceful out there sometimes, under the stars, but nothing compares to this. Nothing."

"Yeah I know." She kissed the big bruise on his shoulder. "Let's get some sleep."

He nodded and closed his eyes; the tension in his body didn't melt away though even in his sleep.

Denise didn't sleep a wink, she stayed awake and watched him. He started shifting about in bed, murmuring, he broke out in a sweat, his breathing became faster, then almost labored.

Denise knew this well , it was all part of post-deployment for him. No one else knew and no one else would understand, the gruff exterior, the hardened Army man persona, that's how he survived, the man he truly was, fought on going battles with his conscience over so many things. "Frank, honey wake up," she said and shook him gently.

He didn't wake he just started murmuring nonsense.

Denise was getting scared, he always woke the moment he heard her voice. "Frank, honey! You're okay, it's just a dream. Wake up, everything's okay," she whispered and shook him a little harder.

He shot up straight as an arrow, gasping for air, covered in sweat.

Denise put her arm around him "Ssh, you're okay honey. Ssh."

"I can't breathe, I can't breathe," he told her. He had real fear in his eyes.

"Do you need to go to the hospital?" she asked, she had already assessed him and saw quite a few things that troubled her, mainly the proximity of some of the bruising to his rib cage and lungs.

He shook his head, slowly he was calming himself down and getting it under control, then his face turned from frightened to angry.

"Frank, talk to me please." She as begging him, she hated seeing him like this.

He shook his head again and laid back down his back her, he wanted her to understand what he needed, she always did, and this time she didn't.

"Frank, please," she begged again.

He kept her on the outside. She wanted to be there or she'd know what to do.

She sighed. "Okay, I give up." He never gave her the cold shoulder like this. She got out of bed and left the room.

He swore under his breath but was too tired to get up. Jeremy was watching TV when his Mom came out to the kitchen in tears.

"Mom, you okay? " he asked getting up and going to her. "Is it Dad?"

"Something's wrong with him and he won't talk about what," she said wiping her eyes. "I'm going to get him some warm milk, maybe that'll settle him down."

"It's a hard thing to talk about mom," Jeremy comforted. "He can't tell you everything, he's got to protect you. He's got to be secretive in a way."

"Didn't use to be," she sighed. "I don't know how many times he's been hurt doing something and he's never acted like..." It clicked. It wasn't his pain, he was grieving that young soldier, it all made sense now.

"That's it!" She hurried back to him; she knew now what he needed. He needed her to hear his fears and he needed her to forgive him for that lost young life as if she herself were the boy's mother.

He was sleeping again so she just spooned up beside him and held tight. An hour later another nightmare started, he woke gasping and sweating but this time she did something else. She went and got a cool wash cloth and sat beside him gently wiping it over his skin, cleaning his body and his spirit. "You're afraid for Jeremy aren't you?"

"Yeah," he admitted. "I am."

"And part of you is glad he's not going to West Point, but you can't understand why, can you?" she asked. She returned with a basin of warm water and now placed a warm rag on one of the largest bruises on his chest.

"No," he replied laughing a little at how well she really knew him.

She lay another warm rag on another bruise. "How does that feel?"

"Better," he replied leaning back into the pillows.

"Good," she smiled. "Besides not making it home, what were you afraid of out there?"

"You not being taken care of, Baby. That's why I'm glad Jeremy isn't going to West Point, so god forbid if something ever happens to me you will be taken care of by him, by someone that loves you." He reached out and touched her cheek.

"He did an amazing job this time," she told him. "We'd..." She didn't want to tell him.

"What?" he asked concerned now. He knew she was different.

"We'd quarreled over his not going to West Point and weren't speaking when we found out but he just stepped right in, you should be proud," she said kissing his lips. "He's floundering a little but he's going to be okay."

"I should talk to him." Frank shifted in bed, pushing up again. "He's 18 but he's still my son, just a boy. I need to be more of a father to him."

"You've been a good father to him. You should rest, he's going out with friends anyway," Denise told him. "Now, food, and nothing is not on the menu."

He smiled. "Anything is fine."

She made his a sandwich and brought him a drink and watched while he ate it. She stroked his cheek, "You look so tired."

"Yeah, I am," he admitted. He hated feeling weak.

"Rest some more," she told him. "I need to do a few things then I'll come back and lay with you, okay?" She kissed him again.

"Okay," he said and she got up and left the room.

Much later they lay cuddled together in bed. Denise knew he had more on his heart than he'd let out so she offered him the chance again as she lay on his chest, "Want to talk about it?"

He laughed lightly, "You saying I left a lot out of my speech?" He didn't want to go there; he didn't want to relive that.

"I'm here if you change your mind," she leaned up and kissed him. The door was open; he knew he could go through it anytime he wanted.

He pushed himself up in bed, grunting just enough to bother her, but she held her tongue, he didn't like to be babied. "I got an e-mail from a friend of mine at the West Point admission's office and I just don't understand how that boy could be so shortsighted. West Point is just not an opportunity that you pass up."

Denise sighed, she knew it wasn't over. "Maybe he was afraid." That answer didn't seem to satisfy him.

She leaned a bit closer, "Oh, Sweetheart I'm disappointed, I'm really disappointed, but I'm alive, and I am home, so I think I've got some perspective on it." His hand rubbed her arm, maybe she hoped, maybe it was going to be okay after all.

She laid her head on his chest, just beginning to relax. Then… "Sweetheart, why didn't you say anything to me though? You looked me right in the eye on that webcam and you…" He paused, he didn't want to say lied, lying implied malice, Denise wasn't malicious, and he knew that. "You knew."

She lightened her voice, she had to, the truth would be too much. "I had to protect you while you were overseas."

He sighed but didn't pull away. "I don't need your protection, Sweetheart. I need your honesty."

Denise sighed, "I know you do, but I worry about you so much. I know you tell me not to but I can't help it. This is the only life I know."

"I know honey," he said gently she was starting to tear up.

"I am so worried about you Frank," she said wiping her eyes.

"Don't be," he whispered. "I'm alive, I'm here with you, it's going to be okay. I'm going to see that boy's father in a few days, that'll close things up on that front."

"Okay," she nodded and lay her head back on his chest.

"I heard from Michael Holden that you threw a lot of folks out of our house and from Roland Burton that you wanted to fly to Iraq," Frank told her rubbing her arm. "Tell me."

"Yeah, I couldn't stand all them being here, I was terrified and I just wanted to be alone. I was trying to make plans for life without you in it and I couldn't."

He nodded, "I know that kind of fear. When you were having the boy and I was halfway to you and the call came in you were bleeding bad, I didn't want anyone telling me it was going to be okay, I just wanted you."

"Yeah I felt the same way," she said then laughed at herself. "I actually packed my bags and was about to leave but Claudia Joy wouldn't let me leave."

"I'd have killed her if she did," Frank replied. "That's no place for female soldiers, never mind soldiers' wives. It's awful there, how they act."

"I almost knocked her out of my way," she admitted.

"I heard my calm and collected bride lost her senses for a while," Frank sighed. "I've been through worse you know? Why now?"

"Sometimes you just can't help it and yes I did, I lost my mind." She confessed this and snuggled even closer.

He kissed her head and didn't say anything else until he felt water on his chest, tiny droplets of water. He looked down and she was crying softly and trying to hide it from him.

He held her tighter, "Let it out, baby. I've had my turn, let it out, I'm right here."

She started to cry harder until she was flat out sobbing, Frank knew this had been hell on her as well as on him and their son. He didn't try to calm her, he just let her cry it out until she was spent and her sobs turned to whimpers.

She held onto him tighter careful not to hurt him. "I was so scared Frank."

"I know," he soothed. "I know but it's okay and I'm home for a while, let's just enjoy that okay?"

"Okay," She was finally calmed down and stopped crying.

"Let's try to get some sleep, tomorrow we can spent the day together, okay?" he asked rubbing her back and arms.

He kissed her a few more times on her cheeks and the tracks of her tears before falling asleep himself, and they stayed that way all of the night, before waking to face the challenges of their day and their life, together.


End file.
